Pride.
February 18th, 2008
I think that one of the things that I struggle with the most as a web designer is the delicate balance between realism and idealism–the idea that I should only be involved in projects that somehow better myself or my clients, especially based on their artistic merits. A sense of regret and frustration fills me when many of the projects I am involved in are finally published, and I feel that an opportunity has been lost. Either the site is hurried and thus lacks the polish that I’d like to give it, or we are not given the materials or clarity we require to do our best work. Of course, sometimes we simply drop the ball — it’d be silly to assume otherwise. However, I do feel most of the problem is bad communication, and that is an issue that you can solve. I suppose I live in a dream world where I expect every project to be portfolio-worthy.
Of course, this cannot always be the case. Moreover, much of the time the client leaves completely satisfied, and it is only I who am disappointed, unaware that we have actually fulfilled the main objective — to make their voice heard on the web, and get their message out to their customers. If I succeed there, then the client is happy and I should be happy. Sometimes their artistic goals are much more modest than mine are. However, lately at my job I have been dealing with an endless cycle of frustration — lacking the opportunity to speak directly with many of our clients, and thus lacking the ability to give my creative input, give direction to the client, or educate them about why we are suggesting a specific direction.
This is something I struggle with constantly, and I doubt any specific person, client, or decision can shoulder all of the blame for this feeling. It is not a desire to be perfect, it is a desire to make a positive change. I make my share of mistakes and that is okay–it’s feeling undermined by my clients or my employers that really nags me. As previously mentioned, the lack of ability to control the direction of my current place of employment is ultimately the nail in the coffin for me.
The bottom line, of course, is that I have to just get over it. I either must cede control to my superiors, or I have to take that control for myself. I’m not sure there is a middle ground when working in small business. With that said, one of the things I have been really considering lately is going into business for myself. This would allow me to do things my way — which is what I thought I was being promised some time ago at my current position.
I honestly think this is the best (and perhaps only) way that I can be happy doing design. I know people all across the design and development spectrum who I could tap to help provide crucial support along the way, and I have enough contacts that can refer business to me that I should be okay when I do make such a move full-time.
Back to square one, I suppose. Regardless, it’ll be an interesting few months as I try to work out a direction in my professional life.
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February 19th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
You’re not the only one that feels every project should be portfolio-worthy. I’m the same way, I’ve just come to realize that sometimes projects are going to stray from the initial design, purpose, or idea and that often leads to a mediocre piece. But I think you’ll find that anywhere. Taking things into your own hands and starting your own company is certainly a way to combat that and get better written, better looking, and more successful sites out there. Good luck!
February 20th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
I hear you. Because of this post, I’ve also had to explain to people that I’m not quitting my job anytime soon. Just because I’m frustrated with things doesn’t mean bailing is the best thing to do always. Perhaps I can make positive change still where I am at. Perhaps not, but I don’t think it’s too late to give up completely.
Starting my own business at some point will be the best way to do things my way and honestly has been a goal of mine for as long as I can remember. But I don’t know if now is the time or not. I plan on being self-employed by the time I’m 35, and that’s closer than some would think!
February 27th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Dearest Andrew,
Please consider adding the plugin that allows users to subscribe to your blog comments in WordSmith. That would be great. You’re doing big things here and I would like to be a part of them.
TX!
March 8th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
[...] am I doing this? While some it goes back to frustration at my current place of employment, it has been my plan to own my own business by the time I was in [...]