A Recent Conversation…
February 16th, 2005
First, a little background. My car battery has officially died on me. I guess it can be attributed to the fact that I rarely drive anywhere nowadays. If I can walk, I walk. That’s a good thing, but it means my poor car is neglected from time to time, and that can lead to the battery losing it’s charge over time.
Anywho, last week my Passat would not start, and I had to have it jumped off. I thought nothing of it really - I figured I just should drive more often. Well, it died again, so I had my brother jump me off and I took it over to my local Wal-Mart, the location where my battery was purchased.
Wal-Mart Employee (WME): Hello sir, may I help you?
Me: Hey … my battery has been dying lately if I leave it for more than 12 hours or so. I had my receipt and it’s under warranty for 5 years, so how do I go about exchanging it?
WME: Oh, okay - hold on one second and let me go get a hold of Mike (other employee).
Mike: What can I do for you sir?
Me: Hey, I was just explaining to this guy that my battery has been dying lately if I leave it more than a few hours. I would just like to go ahead and switch it out if possible, as the battery is under warranty.
Mike: Oh okay, let me go get my tools.
Mike brings back a voltmeter and has me start my car, turn it off, rev it up and some other exciting tasks to check the alternator and the charge of the battery in my car.
Mike: Well, everything checks out. You have a full charge in your battery.
Me: Yes, I know. I was jumped off an hour or so ago, and I have been driving ever since - so I’m sure it’ll show it’s close to full right now.
Mike: Right, so there’s no problem.
Me: No, you don’t seem to understand. If I turn the car off for more than a few hours, the battery dies. It’s been getting worse and worse over time, and I’d like to just switch it out for another.
Mike: I understand that sir, but maybe it’s your alternator? Your battery has a full charge.
Me: You just checked my alternator. Didn’t you say it was sending a charge to the battery?
Mike: Yes sir, but the battery has a full charge now.
Me: Of course it does! I’ve been driving around all afternoon!
Mike: Well, there’s nothing I can do sir.
Me: Okay - so the battery is under warranty, and every time I leave my car unattended, the battery dies - my keyless entry won’t work, my clock is dead, and my car doesn’t even TRY to turn over. But the battery is fine.
Mike: Maybe it’s the alternator, sir.
Me: Are you serious? We just established the alternator is fine - and even if it was, the two don’t have anything to do with each other in this situation….
Mike: Well the battery is fine, I can’t switch it out for you.
Me: Why are we still talking? I know nothing about cars, but this is the easiest possible mystery to solve… the ONLY thing it could be is the battery.
Mike: Sorry, there’s nothing I can do.
Me: Well thank you so much for your help. Who is your manager?
Mike: I am the manager on duty, sir.
Me: Well keep up the great work.
I was too busy to spend any more time there haggling over the ins and outs of how batteries lose their charge, but I can’t wait to go have a word with the store manager after class tomorrow. I’m absolutely blown away by this guy. Let’s assume I’m totally wrong and I’m an idiot (pretty easy to do, I know). Even if I AM wrong, you just smile and switch out the battery. It’s WAL MART - that’s what they do.
I kept looking around for tv cameras - I figured I had to be on one of those “candid camera” shows. Nope.
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February 15th, 2005 at 10:56 pm
this is the funniest thing i’ve read all day.
and i’m not just saying that b/c i’m doped up on all kinds of meds!
February 15th, 2005 at 11:23 pm
Dude, that definitely sucks!!
“Even if I AM wrong, you just smile and switch out the battery. It’s WAL MART - that’s what they do.”
CLASSIC!!
February 16th, 2005 at 5:30 pm
WOW… if only it was a hidden camera show, oh well, hope you get a new battery
February 18th, 2005 at 1:57 pm
Yeah, he should’ve just changed it out. He was probably just too lazy.